Friday, September 18, 2009

Goy-ldielocks and the three...

Ahhh. That was a sad, lame attempt.

It's the end of a long, hard week. Why am I even attempting to be punny? And is there a word that sounds like "bears" that really means "diagnoses"? Because that's where I was headed. Got a bit stymied by the dead end though.

And this post has nothing to do with Judaism or being a gentile or anything of that ilk. Though I believe that since the sun has set, it is now Rosh Hashanah. So happy new year! In Austin, that gentile town, Jewish holidays didn't seem to impact the general consciousness. Here, the schools are off for Yom Kippur. I have a hankering for pastries, but I'm concerned that my favorite local bakery will be closed tomorrow. My neighbor commented how she is behind in preparing for Rosh Hashanah. And so, my consciousness has been impinged upon, and I feel I'm learning. Always good.


I did go see a doctor. A very nice woman in a very nice nearby practice. They failed to weigh me (excellent because my fat jeans have become a wee bit tightish). They took my pulse (97...ouch!) and my blood pressure (very high for me). And her three diagnoses were:

1. Anxiety (Yeah! Good drugs!)
2. Asthma (Boo! Bad drugs...makes one's heart race!)

And she paused and shook her head. Never a good sign. And said as if to herself, "I really shouldn't even mention this. It's so rare."

See? Like an episode of House.

3. Adrenal gland tumor.

Oooohhh...Tumor. That sounds...well...freaking scary. I gladly accepted the prescription for the good drugs and raced home to google "adrenal gland tumor." Which was reassuring actually because it sounds like the majority of adrenal gland tumors are benign. Which means not the big scary "c" word.

And I learned something else. Did you know that your adrenal glands are located right atop your kidneys? That's right. I assumed that they were in your brain. You know...maybe next door to the pituitary gland. But no.

See? You learn something every day. It means you're alive. Happy new year!

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